How to Catch a Cheating Spouse – Surviving The Affair?

Catch a Cheating Spouse

If you want to know how to catch a cheating spouse and survive the affair, then this article will be of a great help to you.

This clearly is not the case, and by simply looking and identifying some or all of the below signs in your relationship, then you should have a better idea if you do indeed have a cheating spouse.

How to Catch a Cheating Spouse

Although the signs of an affair listed below can in some cases be totally innocent, they can also be genuine signs that you have a cheating spouse, so if you are already suspicious of your partner actions, then you should look out for the following in your relationship:

Change Of Image – Has your spouse all of a sudden taken a keen interest in there appearance and looks.

You should try to watch out for them displaying the following:

  1. Gets there hair done more.
  2. Has more showers
  3. Buys more clothes than normal
  4. Purchases new scent
  5. Takes up a fitness regime
  6. Diets

You should become increasingly concerned if your spouse has developed any of the above trends that do not seem to be aimed for your benefit.

Phone Secrecy - When looking for ways on how to catch a cheating spouse you should equally pay attention to any unusual phone behavior.

Below is a few signs to look for when your suspected cheating spouse is on the phone:

  1. Goes out of the room a lot when someone calls
  2. Becomes flustered and panicky when you enter the room while they are talking
  3. Ends the call sharpish when you enter the room
  4. Guards there phone for dear life (takes it with them everywhere they go)

Defends others who have had an affair – Have they taken a strange understanding to people who had affairs. You may hear them saying things like “they must of been having problems, or “Who are we to judge” and so on.

Try to look out for this in your partners behavior.

A lot of people who are guilty of infidelity will often display the above signs of an affair without even realizing it, so It’s important to pay careful attention to the above if you think you have a cheating spouse and with that being said, you will hopefully now have a more advanced understanding on how to catch a cheating spouse to help you discover the truth in your relationship.

Finding out that you spouse has been unfaithful can be an emotional experience.

You are now faced with some very tough decisions.

Do you stay in the marriage?

Do you want to make your marriage work?

Can you move on pass the affair?

Why did your spouse cheat on you?

How will you survive the affair?

Catch a Cheating Spouse – Your Responsibilities

As a responsible adult who wants to save their marriage, it can be very tempting to want to pitch in and own up to some responsibility for the affair occurring.

No matter what the problems were in your marriage prior to the affair—and they could be some pretty serious issues—that particular trigger was pulled by the cheater, not you.

Accept responsibility for your share of the problems within the marriage, but not for what your spouse decided to do outside of your marriage. That decision was theirs alone. And it didn’t fix the problems in the marriage, but made a hundred-fold greater set of problems than what you started out with, including a devastating blow to your inner self as the victim of their actions.

But right now, before you can have the strength and capacity to work on saving and rebuilding your marriage, your responsibility first and foremost is to save and rebuild yourself.

Don’t doubt for a minute the blow that you have sustained from learning of your spouse’s infidelity. It can be mentally and emotionally crippling, and affect your physical health as well. Your responsibility is to help yourself work through this extremely difficult, challenging time. Without entrenching and taking this time for yourself, you won’t be in a position to help anyone else—let alone save your marriage. You need to work on the self-recriminations, self-doubts, loss of self-respect and love you have for yourself.

Your self-esteem has really suffered, no doubt, from learning that your spouse was able to have an intimate relationship with anyone other than you. This knowledge can make you feel wanting, as if there is something “wrong” with you that your spouse could ever contemplate an affair, let alone go through with it and commit the infidelity.

Stop wondering if your spouse is cheating on you and find out for sure. If you need help on catching your cheating spouse, check out Are You Cheating.

The Coworker Affair: Is An Affair With A Coworker A Good Idea?

The coworker affair is common; research indicates that over 70% of single employees will become romantically involved with someone on the job at some point in their career.

This also applies to married workers too, as most married people who have affairs are most likely to do so with a coworker.

One popular study found that 50 percent of unfaithful women and about 62 percent of unfaithful men were involved with a coworker.

People are more likely to date a coworker than anyone else, and since Americans spend most of their waking lives working, the workplace is the number one place for couples to meet.

The signs of a brewing office affair often include frequent meetings at the water-cooler or coffee machine, becoming more familiar with each others' personal lives, increased email communication, instant messages, and text messages which over time become increasingly more personal and intimate.

The article below talks about what to avoid and important considerations when it comes to your own relationships with coworkers. If you suspect your spouse of having an affair with a coworker, click here to learn more about your options for addressing the situation.

Warning: A Coworker Affair Can Be Detrimental To Your Career

Always read your company’s human resources policies regarding workplace relationships. If you have any questions, contact your HR representative. Obviously, supervisors dating subordinates is never recommended, as supervisors can make themselves and their employers vulnerable to legal action, including charges of harassment or inappropriate behavior.

Also, do not send sexually suggestive or inappropriate emails because office communications are typically monitored by your employer, and this is a terminable offense.

How To Avoid A Coworker Affair

  1. Understand your Human Resources policies regarding office romances.
  2. Never get involved with someone you supervise, or your boss.
  3. Do not have an affair with someone who is married. Someone always gets hurt in the end, and it complicates and can possibly devastate families.
  4. Beware gossip. If even one of your coworkers finds out about the affair, expect the entire office to know eventually. Understand that your coworkers will likely think less of you and question your job performance, reasons behind your promotions, etc.
  5. Do not advertise your affair or engage in public displays of affection at the office or at business functions.
  6. Do not send any sexually suggestive or inappropriate emails, voicemails, or other communications.
  7. Do not play favorites at the office with your affair partner/coworker.
  8. Understand the legal risks and potential career blowback that can occur when choosing to engage in office affairs.

Males having affairs with female subordinates run the risk of making their company vulnerable to litigation. It is women, however, that usually suffer more consequences in terms of termination, future career problems, etc.


Put simply, office affairs are complicated, and often cause way more turmoil than they are worth. The risks far outweigh the rewards, so proceed with caution. As a marriage therapist, I typically suggest that people redirect all of the energy that they are expending in having an affair into their marriage in order to resolve the conflicts and unmet emotional needs that resulted in infidelity.

Fame Audit: Jack Black

NAME: Jack Black
AUDIT DATE: November 12, 2001
AGE: 32
OCCUPATION: Actor, comedian, rock legend in training
EXPERIENCE: 27 films, one television series, and one album since 1992


Let us consider the case of Jack Black, for the case of Jack Black is instructive. His name may not yet be familiar to some of you, though if you saw High Fidelity, you'll definitely remember his face: he played Barry, the stout, manic store clerk who tore through the movie like the Tasmanian Devil, hijacking every scene in his path. Black's octane-fueled cameo brought him to the attention of both the moviegoing public at large and a cabal of Hollywood casting agents; before long, Jack Black had what is referred to in industry parlance as "heat." Now he finds himself as a genuine, name-above-the-title, tedious-press-junket-participating comedy star, in the touted new Farrelly Brothers film, Shallow Hal.

Now, devotees of cult phenomena (whether guerrilla comedians, underground comic books, or a treasured noise-rock garage band) are notoriously protective of their secret passions ­- as though, like a vampire exposed to the light of day, their obsession will wither and die under the glare of widespread popularity. (If only devotees of religious cults clung to the same belief.) So it's natural to feel a little apprehensive -­ in a nerdy obsessive fan kind of way -­ about the ascendance of Mr. Jack Black. Because in Shallow Hal, Black tackles his first major leading role, as the Hal of the title, a superficial ladies' man who is hypnotized by Tony Robbins (in the most self-serving, unironic cameo in recent memory) to see only a woman's inner beauty, and who then falls in love with a three-hundred-pound woman played by Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit. (The joke ­- insofar as this can be described as a "joke" ­- is that Hal sees Gwyneth Paltrow, while the rest of the world sees the three-hundred-pound woman.)

Black, while hardly the runaway train he was in High Fidelity, acquits himself well as the movie's leading man. And since Shallow Hal's directors are the same duo that unleashed There's Something About Mary, expectations for the movie are high. If it turns out to be a hit, it should vault Black into the ranks of such comedy-franchise players as Adam Sandler and Martin Lawrence. You might think all of this is good news for Mr. Jack Black, and for fans of Jack Black. You would be wrong.

First, some background: Black is a product of the same Los Angeles alternative-comedy scene that produced Ben Stiller, Janeane Garafolo, and David Cross and Bob Odenkirk (the last two of whom are the creators of HBO's lauded sketch show, Mr. Show). Black has built up a small but dedicated following -­ some hooked by his cameos on Mr. Show, more still by his work as one half of the mock-rock duo Tenacious D (who had its own stint on HBO, and who proclaim themselves to be, simply, "the greatest band in the world"). The D, as they are known, unfurl hilariously self-serious anthems about demons, the ass-kicking properties of karate, and the various usages of "rock" as a verb. (To give you a sense of Tenacious D's wide-ranging and perverse brilliance: in the album-ending ballad, JB and KG -- Black and partner Kyle Gass -- start a riot to bring down "the bastards at City Hall," which results in civilization being destroyed, which results in Tenacious D emerging from their underground bunker and ruling over the world as two kings, which results in the proclamation that, henceforth, everyone will abandon their cars and travel in pneumatic tubes. Then they poison each other. All this in six minutes and forty-one seconds.)

You don't need to see or hear or smell much of Jack Black to realize that he is just about the most nuclear comedic talent out there. Imagine your most sardonic friend suddenly possessed by Satan, and you start to get a picture of Jack Black at full tilt. He's a comic dervish, hissing and spitting like a boiler in the last shaky moments before it explodes. And unlike, say, Jim Carrey, who careens off the scenery like a live-action Tigger -­ and is about as threatening ­- Black seethes with an intelligent malevolence. He's like Dennis the Menace with the brain of Lex Luthor. At times, he seems to have so much volatile comic energy at his command that you suspect he could fell a building with a cock of his eyebrow.

Which is why it's so painful to watch Black in Shallow Hal. He's like Rasputin on Quaaludes. He's been completely neutered, as restrained as a hyperactive boy in a church pew told to sit still and behave. This is because Black is playing the Romantic Lead, a role which calls for very little antic careening around the set, eyes ablaze, but lots of affability and charm. And he is as affable and charming as required. But watching him, you're reminded that while Hollywood warms its hands on young comedians with "heat," it simultaneously strives to snuff out the source of the fire.

Think of Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, and Robin Williams. All started their careers as mesmerizing talents. (Yes, yes, pipe down, you young'uns. Even Robin Williams. His schtick is so prone to parody ­- and he's done so much to undermine his own comic legacy -­ that it's easy to forget how energizing he was when he first beamed down as Mork in a bit part on Happy Days.) All three wound up spending a good chunk of their careers playing befuddled but lovable leading men: Crystal in City Slickers and Forget Paris, Martin in Housesitter and Father of the Bride, Williams in Patch Adams and What Dreams May Come. Whatever the merits of these movies, they weren't showcases for original comic talent; if Martin, for example, had, while playing the dad in Parenthood, started throwing off the kind of comedic sparks for which he was known in the '70s, the whole movie would have caught fire and disintegrated.

More recently, Eddie Murphy and Jim Carrey ­- once comedic pilgrims of great promise ­- have been similarly mired in the Bog of Affability. Murphy's characters on SNL -­ creations like Gumby, Mr. Robinson, and James Brown in a hot tub ­- are seared into our memories. Once he jumped to movies, however, it wasn't long before he was simply playing Funny Everyguy ­- the likable rascal who lit up Beverly Hills Cop and 48 Hours. From there, it's a short step to Funny Everyguy On Auto-Pilot, the not-quite-as-likable rascal on display in The Golden Child and Boomerang. Carrey, meanwhile, seems intent on reinventing himself as a twenty-first-century Jimmy Stewart ­- a transmutation that promises to deliver something about half as entertaining as the twentieth-century Jim Carrey.

Why does this happen to comedians? Because Hollywood prizes familiarity. From the recycling of familiar music in movie trailers to lookalike movie posters to the constant chorus of "From the creators of...," movies are foisted on the public like designer impostor perfumes: if you liked There's Something About Mary, you'll love Say It Isn't So!. The star system itself is built on predictability: you want to know what you're in for. When you go to see Julia Roberts, you go to see the Julia Roberts you liked so much in Pretty Woman, not Julia Roberts in a wig and funny fake teeth. (Don't forget: before she shocked everyone with her acting and her bosoms in Erin Brockovich, Roberts had to woo the public back with Runaway Bride, a retread that may as well have been titled Pretty Woman II: Wedding Day.)

Unfortunately, exciting comedians are usually the antithesis of knowing what you're in for. Bad comedians tell you jokes you've already laughed at before. ("Boy, those cops sure love donuts, don't they, folks?") Good ones, like Black, exhilarate you with the unexpected. No fan of Black would begrudge him the million-dollar payday and profile upgrade that comes with a lead in a big-budget Hollywood comedy like Shallow Hal. But no fan of Jack Black would actually want to watch him in a movie like Shallow Hal, either. You want him to tear movies like that apart with his teeth, spit out the pieces in Billy Crystal's face, then pick up a guitar and launch into "Fuck Her Gently."

It's disarmingly easy, though, to imagine a parallel universe in which Jack Black fills up his dance card playing likable guys in movies with titles like If At First and Twice Shy, in which he foolishly chases after a haughty ice queen before realizing, after a bout of amnesia or a serendipitous run-in with an alien played by George Carlin, that his best friend, Gina, is everything he always wanted in a woman ­- and she was right there next to him the whole time.

We, however, like to imagine that this will not be the case. We like to imagine a future for Jack Black in which he is allowed unfettered freedom to unleash his particular brand of comic mayhem on the land, damn the consequences and the birth defects it may cause. And if that means the occasional Farrelly Brothers-sponsored payday...well, so be it. After all, Black's former co-hort, Ben Stiller, has deftly parlayed his success as a romantic lead in There's Something About Mary and Meet the Parents into the clout needed to bring a funnier, more offbeat project like Zoolander to the screen. Maybe Black will follow suit. It's certainly easier to sit through Shallow Hal once you know that a Tenacious D movie is being readied for firing down the pneumatic tubes.

By the way, if you want to be in the know about what movies are actually worth your time, click here for the best reviews of the latest and greatest hollywood films.



Fame Barometer

Current approximate level of fame: Rob Schneider

Deserved approximate level of fame: Mike Myers

Stuck in The Same Cycle of Fighting?

Most couples that come to see me are discouraged, disconnected, and disillusioned with their relationship. People tell me that they need help with communication, they need help with conflict management and they need help connecting with their partner. It is awful to feel lonely, even worse to feel lonely within a relationship. People have plenty of topics with which to complain; money, sex, job worries, kids, time constraints, to name a few.

Couples counselors are taught to look at relationships in a circular systemic manner of interactions rather than simple cause and effect. There can be what seems like an endless cycle of reaction, which creates more reaction and still another reaction. For instance, one partner may be crabby and angry at the other partner’s long workdays and criticism. At the same time, the second partner’s absences and critical tone result from the moodiness and withdrawal of the first partner. Welcome to the proverbial merry-go-round of relationship conflict!

According to researchers all couples fight and even the happiest marriages are not conflict-free. It isn’t that they are unhappy but what they do about the dissatisfaction that makes the difference between a satisfying relationship and an unsatisfied one.

I see that couples are greatly touched by what their partners say, but it seems to me that they even more affected by what their partners do. So I challenge each of you to get off the merry-go-round of interaction and do something completely different. This may not be a substitute for counseling but it could be a start.

If you want more sex, then dress up a little to get in the mood, perhaps send your partner a romantic text message alluding to what might happen later. Include some romance in your life, compliment your partner, give a hug, or a little handholding. People complain that sex used to be easy when they were first dating. It may have seemed really easy back then when you were dating, but remember that you spent time, thinking, and planning for that special evening. You might have cooked a favorite meal, you may have picked out some clothes, or maybe you made a fire in the fireplace. You might have popped a mint in your mouth before you got together. What makes you think that sex will automatically happen now, without the same advance preparation?

Or, if your honey is working too much for your liking, how about asking what it is about work that is so appealing? Maybe your partner is getting kudos for a job well done there, but not at home. Perhaps you will need to give out some compliments for what he/she is doing at home.

Why not experiment with something new? You really have nothing to lose, except being stuck. You might even just be able to get that off the merry-go-road. There are many other rides in the park. How about the teeter-totter? Oh-oh, that’s a subject for another blog.

Couples therapy can help you go a long way in developing a healthier and happier relationship. Book an appointment with a therapist in Philadelphia today.


One can imagine the predictable pitch at this particular movie studio meeting: let’s bring the film fans something high-strung to talk about in terms of an over-the-top action-oriented fantasy flick. We will feature a sultry butt-kicking babe in a suggestive outfit while capitalizing on the comic-book-to-big-screen formula that’s the sudden preferable trend in Hollywood right now. Also, we will incorporate some of that colorful chopsocky choreography that has more punch to it than a compilation of private Sugar Ray Leonard home movies. Plus, we can spotlight a curvy cutie in redemption mode as the story continues its somber but kinetic overtones.

Hmmm…sounds like an identical premise for the horrible hairball actioner Catwoman that inexplicably starred Oscar-winning pixie Halle Berry. Well, at least some moviegoers will have another pointless and transparent bombastic beauty to berate for appearing in such a derivative spin-off of sorts. In the pseudo-sleek and thinly-sensationalized Elektra, lean and mean Jennifer Garner (from ABC-TV’s Alias) gets to “strut her stuff” as a trained female assassin. As many may recall, the feminine fireball Elektra Natchios actually sprung from the mediocre Marvel comic adaptation Daredevil where Garner’s sexy siren was practically left for dead. But thanks through the sheer magic of shallow screenwriting courtesy Raven Metzner, Zak Penn and Stu Zicherman (not to mention the concept of quickie profit from a familiarized tough-minded tart) the shapely Elektra breathes life once again in a baseless, frivolous fable.

Director Rob Bowman (2002’s Reign of Terror) concocts a cockeyed display of a superhero sass’s deep-seeded angst and literally delivers an inconsequential tale that has all the misguided energy of an unplugged toaster. Although Garner’s defensive demeanor as a femme fatale fighter is carnally pleasing to the eye, her one-note performance as a destructive diva feels rather empty and generic. Interestingly, Garner’s small-scale weekly television work in Alias has more heart and emotional heft than what she demonstrates as a boisterous martial arts maiden in a big-budgeted motion picture release.

The bewildering forethought that comes to mind is trying to resurrect a supporting character from an original “alleged” super-charged actioner (the aforementioned Daredevil) that was a lukewarm box office take at best. Strangely, Garner was perceived as being more flexible and well-rounded in a limited capacity while being displayed in Daredevil. As for her own spry vehicle in Elektra, she’s oddly out of place much like a non-English speaking ninja at a makeshift wrestling match held inside a southern bingo hall. Bowman and his writers never bother to give their faceless warrior any worthy insight that beleaguered her in the past (maybe perhaps a slight reference to her Daredevil heyday?) or anything substantive in the present that would flesh out her brooding characterization with convincing vulnerability. Unfortunately, the filmmakers want to inject Elektra with flashy trappings by engulfing her with the nonsensical copycat martial arts flourishes that made sophisticated and meditative gems such as Hero or House of Flying Daggers resonate with proven opulence. Because Elektra feels ridiculously contrived as a manufactured and plotting action piece, it’s almost silly for Bowman to enhance his stilted exposition with shameless samples of swaggering fight sequences that are appropriately suitable to sensual cinema such as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

The movie captures the basic dour sentiments of Elektra—a skillful assassin-for-hire that’s still trying to deal with the harsh childhood memories pertaining to the senseless murder of her late mother. Elektra is not completely alone in the world, though. Her agent McCabe (Colin Cunningham) is at her side for assistance. Plus, Elektra’s blinded martial arts mentor/trainer Stick (Terrence Stamp) is an instrumental part of her resourceful fiber. But Stick does play some hard ball with his curvaceous protégé by playing a brand of tough love—he ousts Elektra from his squad in order to prepare her for the risky confrontations that loom ahead.

Anyhow, Elektra awaits her next assignment and is told that she would eventually have to visit a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest to discover her latest task. Elektra soon crosses paths with a pre-teen named Abby (Kirsten Prout) when the petty thieving girl is caught trying to steal from the residence Elektra is staying at temporarily for the time being. This will lead to Elektra meeting and greeting Abby’s attractive widowed father Mark (Goran Visnjic from NBC-TV’s ER). The father-daughter combo has become increasingly friendly with Elektra and they all find the jovial spark in each other’s welcomed company.

For those of you who telegraphed the following stipulation in the script, give yourselves a pat on the back. So what’s the so-called stipulation? Well, apparently Elektra will have a price to pay for her emotional investment in cuddling up to Mark and Abby. Her orders are to eradicate the two-person family that she has grown close to during the brief course of time together. Suddenly, there’s a conflict of interest because the very same tandem she has warmed up to will be destined to be her targets of elimination. Elektra, the professional eliminator supreme, must be in her right mind in protecting Mark and Abby despite her specific orders to “off them”. The twist here is that Mark and Abby know about being hand-picked for their termination although Elektra is somewhat mystified about why her self-anointed associates would be marked for death in the first place.

The deadly organization that wants Mark and Abby’s heads on a silver platter is the assassination outfit known as The Hand. This insidious source is made up of a cluster of Asian businessmen and their gifted evil-minded allies. Among the notable movers-and-shakers in The Hand is head assassin Kirigi (Will Yun Lee), walking body art poster boy Tattoo (Chris Ackerman), touch-of-death tempress Typhoid (Natassia Malthe), and the imposing big black man Stone (Bob Sapp). These roguish rejects need information from Mark and Abby because they possess the knowledge as to where “the treasure” is located—something that’s obviously of concern to this crooked crew. Another “discovery” that’s revealed finds the determined Elektra learning of The Hand’s involvement concerning her mother’s demise.

For the most part, Elektra is an unfocused and scatterbrained fantasy-action flick that has no clear-cut imagination or refreshing zest to its sluggish storyline. Bowman is totally clueless when he tries frantically to patch this dreary comic book caper into a moody melodrama of relevance. There’s a glaring incompleteness to this overactive dud that’s indescribable. Just how cliched can this flimsy comic book fantasy be when spotlighting a sulking skin-clad chick beating up on everything in sight while pining for her perished mother? Elektra would pale in comparison to a routine rerun of Xena: Warrior Princess. In fact, it’s amazing how Elektra doesn’t have its own distinctive identity while awkwardly borrowing from previous showcases for its empty-minded inspiration. For instance, when Garner’s Elektra faces down numerous skilled robed-warriors from the Hand in furious combat, one cannot but help recall Uma Thurman’s Black Mamba avenger’s spectacular fighting tenacity with the deadly Asian syndicate in the more inventively superior Kill Bill: Volumes 1 and 2.

Garner’s sad-sack interpretation of a wounded woman looking to fuel her vacant soul is totally disturbed by all the synthetic vibes of an exhaustive comic book caper that meanders on without solidifying any value to its otherwise mundane and mawkish makeup. This is certainly not the Elektra-fying sardonic piece of entertainment that the movie makers expected moviegoers to perform anticipated backflips for in unison. Maybe Elektra should have remained a silenced voice after all once the Daredevil closing credits started rolling.

This movie may not have been the best, but excellent hero movies are still abundant in hollywood. Just look at X-Men: Apocalypse, a Marvel masterpiece that features the acting debut of breakout star Ben Hardy.

Crossing Over

Hello fellow movie enthusiasts, it looks like 2009 brings us with the first surprise of the year, or at least for me, with the title called Crossing Over a modern drama that follows alongside multiple views and cases on how America handles with foreign people now-a-days.

The movie follows with 3 different lines the action : first is the illegal immigrants from Mexico , second are illegal immigrants from Australia and a Jew and last but not least the Israeli people and very much how they are treated now after the 9/11 incident. The movie excels at telling these 3 stories and all have not just a main line but it’s more like a complex tree with all its branches running out in every direction, so you will undoubtedly be drawn if not by one story the other will gather your attention. Also another fact worth mentioning are the big and impressive cast of the movie with such actors like Harrison Ford and Ashley Jud and not to mention Ray Liotta.

The first story is about Harrison Ford who is a policeman working for immigrations but as you will see he is probably the worst person for that job since he puts way to much feeling and heart in what he does and always gets personally involved in helping immigrants, from the start he involuntary helps a lady that got deported by bringing her son to Mexico to his house, where he is greeted by the boys grandparents. The side story of this would be the life and customs of his partner which is from Israel also this story is full of intrigue and very well made. The second story is about Ashley Jud who is an Australian immigrant who overstayed her legal period of time and was now trying to get somehow a